Missing You

Spring Flowers | Hansen-Spear Funeral Home - Quincy, Illinois

There is a quote I recently read about healing after the death of a loved one, and it’s one that I wish I had heard years ago. I saw it within the work of Dr. Joanne Cacciatore (http://centerforlossandtrauma.blogspot.ca/), and unfortunately, I can’t find the exact reference, so I will paraphrase her words: It’s not about learning how to not miss someone, it’s about learning how to live well again, while missing them. I think this … [Read more...]

“Dead” is not a bad word

Rose on Pink Granite Stone | Hansen-Spear Funeral Home - Quincy, Illinois

I’m going to tell you a secret.  The core of my field of work is helping people enjoy their last days of life, knowing they are not long for this world.  And yet when it comes down to the nitty-gritty of it, I often have a hard time using the words “dead” and “died.” I had truly never thought about the language of death- and my “death” discomfort- until it came up in conversation during a staff meeting.  We were discussing the … [Read more...]

Choosing to Actively Grieve in the New Year

Sunflower | Hansen-Spear Funeral Home - Quincy, Illinois

Dear Friends, We hope that by actively taking part in the gift of grieving it will lead to the intention of self-growth and enrichment. I shared with my support group the idea that each of us has many layers of grief.  I also brought up the point that while we usually survive our losses, they leave us forever changed. By making a choice to actively take part in grieving, we remove the power of grieving to reduce us and make less of … [Read more...]

Welcoming the New Year

Winter Forest | Hansen-Spear Funeral Home - Quincy, Illinois

  'And now we welcome the New Year, full of things that have never been' - Rainer Maria Rilke  Well, there goes 2014. Another calendar page turned, another year is upon us. The Rilke quote above is one of my favorite New Year's quotes. I love the truth and reminder that the coming year is "full of things that have never been." This is one of the many harsh realities of grief - life has never been like it is now. Grief picks … [Read more...]

Hope for the Holidays

Hope Ornament | Hansen-Spear Funeral Home - Quincy, Illinois

After the death of a loved one, the holiday season can be particularly challenging. It is a time of year when there are many messages and expectations of hope, yet the complexity of grief can accentuate feelings of hopelessness. For myself, hope has been a slippery, elusive little word. When I feel hopeful, it flies under my radar, however when I feel hopeless, it pervades everything. When I try to define hope in a concise and coherent way, I … [Read more...]

The Gift of Having all Your Feelings

Christmas Ornament | Hansen-Spear Funeral Home - Quincy, Illinois

There is so much pressure to be happy in our culture, especially at the holidays.  We are supposed to have a “merry little Christmas” somehow.  If you are grieving during the holidays, you may be feeling anything but happy.  It doesn’t matter how long ago the death occurred.  The holidays are a time when we most long for those who are no longer here with us. Grief can make us feel sad, angry, scared, or regretful, We may have times … [Read more...]